March 18th, 2005
The creatures of the night are abound with hope,
They all sit around smoking their dope,
The meaning of life is but inches away,
To learn of their failures in a quite funny way.
Have fun with that. how come people havent posted in awhile???????????
February 23rd, 2005
|gothfeary||12:52 pm - newest poem by me~|
Well, here's my latest poem. I wrote it in French Class on let's see...the 17th. I REALLY need you all to critique it as much as possible. Be BRUTAL, HARSH, TAKE NO PRISIONERS!!!! It could use some work, so I came to the best and brightest I could find. So please, do your thing. And keep checking back at it to see what I reply, so we can get it finished! I would love it! Thanks!
"And vines do grow"
She heard it all in her head,
darkness wrapping as a vine.
At times she couldn't tell if it was real.
A poison made of sight, see, touch, feel.
Grasp the chest, it hurt to breath,
Zombie Kitty was crushing her with it's knees.
Twirling hair to stay the vine~
"No thanks. I'm driving." Refused the vine.
Calmly purple plays across the wall,
with teeth and eyes of red to crawl.
It will often ask "shall you go below?"
Night blooms with naught to show~
Lord for doomed day, cull the light.
This is real or the vine's strange night
Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: Dead Disco ~ Metric
February 20th, 2005
Comment please... please!!!!!!!
Hitting the smooth hard floor
You held my heart
You hold it no more
It has been dropped
And I have been left to pick up the smashed pieces
Left to glue them back together
One by one
I bandage my heart
Just for you to rip it out once more
These cruel mind games
Telling me you love me
But being with that girl
My heart is yours to hold
To play with like an infant’s toy
Make me who you want
I will follow to please you
I will be you’re perfect girl
To make you understand
You will always be my world
So once again you hold my heart
And once again it slips from your grasp
And once again it breaks upon the floor
My fragile heart of glass
Leave me here to bleed
Lay me in the street
My metal friend in my shaking hand
The friend that comforts me
When nobody else can
It takes my hand
And walks me drip by drip through the pain
Cut by cut
It ends the rain
A bloody pool
Lays upon my torn wrist
Representing what I can’t say
What my lips can not utter
So let the rain wash away
All my sins
All my fears
As if they are gods tears
Weeping for me
Setting me free
Loving me for me
I’ve no reason to love
My heart an ever wider black hole
Void of all the love you stole
Make me know I’m not alone
Share my feelings for me
Let your inner thoughts free
Break my tender spirit
Make me cry
Release the lies
By never loving me
By knowing you are my everything
Let me hurt. Make it sting
Burry me and leave
I am worthless, I’m useless
Forget you caused me stress
For wanting only you
Punish me for crying
For ever really trying
again i will state, comment!
Current Mood: poetic
Current Music: none...
February 17th, 2005
|gothfeary||02:05 pm - Electric Tape|
You all know what to do~ critique away!
Borrow me a sorrowed mind.
I’ll lend to you a lemon rind.
Slip to me mine bleeding heart.
I may gift to you the broken lark.
Give to one your acid ring.
Beware returns of soulless things.
Leave behind what you must.
Nevermore ~ again diamond trust.
Please to be a lover lost.
For I can leave to thee dark frost.
Now send alas a poisoned web.
Alas here is the silver that is dread
Current Mood: artistic
Current Music: "ocean avenue"~ Yellowcard
February 10th, 2005
come on guys check out the community it is for writting poems and I know you all do if you are in this community!
February 9th, 2005
I promised this would not happen,
I vowed to not let anyone in.
It all happened so quickly,
It wasn’t supposed to happen this way.
You try to be strong,
But I see the pain in your eyes.
With every sweet word of encouragement,
Your voice quivers from fear.
I never wanted you to see me like this.
Lying in bed I remember all the laughs,
I remember the good times.
I stole your heart, and soon
Memories will be all you have left.
You stuck by me, knowing it would not last.
As I slowly dwindle away to nothingness,
I think of the love you showed me.
You taught me to die living,
You helped me to enjoy every moment.
One day we will reunite,
One day we will be together again.
February 8th, 2005
This is a very special poem that I wrote when I was younger. It is one of the first that I have written. It means alot to me because the person that it is about it no longer here but she also happened to be my mother. I would love some feedback. thankyou
She was young,
why did she have to go
The one person in my life who would always be there for me,
The one who brought me into this world.
She was taken away from us by this disease
now I wonder what it would be like if she was here today.
Mother's day 1995 she was rushed to the hospital
and later died, I never understood until now
what truly happens with this disease.
I loved her with all my heart
why did she have to go?
Now 10 years later
the pain resurfaces when the day comes that I have to face,
the day she died 10 years ago.
In memory of Barbra Ann Miller O'Brien.. I love you mom
February 4th, 2005
comment please, i really want the feedback
Surrender you’re feelings
The devil lives on pain
Fear, happiness flees
Feel the stinging metal kiss
As the blade caresses you tenderly, lovingly
Ripping you apart
But at the same time pulling you from the depths of despair.
Drowning in a crimson pool
Gasping for the stale air
Grieving for the feelings lost
For the pain you no longer feel
A chance for the devil to steal
Everything making you you
The devil still lives among
Authority feeds of fear and pain
Leaving another crimson stain.
|frizzy_krissy||01:38 am - New|
Hi. My name is Kristin (but, please call me Krissy) and I'm am 18 year old girl from Rhode Island. I've been writing poetry and songs for quiet a while. It's always been the best way for me to express myself when I'm angry, sad, etc.
So yeah... This is the part where you send me a poem to review. I can't say I'll give the greatest critique, but i will try my best.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Phantom of the Opera- Angel of Music
15 years old. since i was like 10 but not serious until about 14. ive been told my writings are pretty good and mature and meaningful. i really want to just get my stuff out there and commented on. i play drums for a band and we use my poems as lyrics sometimes.